Meant To Be
by Mizz-me
Summary: Alice have always loved Jasper. But what if Jasper is with another; Jessica Stanley? Will Alice still be there for Jasper, even though he sometimes is mean to her? Or will she skip out to the sunset forgetting everything about him? Song-Fic AxJ
1. You Belong To Me

Hi, my name is Alice Cullen. I have this really big problem with my adopted brother, Jasper, or Jazz as I call him. We are the best of friends, but I will try to let you know my problem:

_You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset  
She's going off about something that you said  
She doesn't get your humor like I do  
_

I walked down the sidewalk, beside Jazz. He's on the phone with Jessica, his girlfriend. She is beyond pissed, over a joke Jazz told. She completely misunderstood it. I thought it was really funny, but she doesn't have the same kind of humor as us. I don't really see what he sees in her! Don't get me wrong! She _is_ beautiful, but that's also about it. She is _so_ shallow. He says it is love from them both, but I'm pretty sure, that she's just taking him for money and his good looking face and body. I know it isn't normal for a vampire to have a relationship with a human, but when Edward could be with Bella – then Jasper could be with Jessica, it was what Jasper meant, but I didn't think so. Bella was going to be vampire some day, and Edward knew that. Jazz had no intention to change Jessica, and thank God for that!

"Jess, I didn't mean it like that! You know that!" he said and sighed deeply. She shouted an answer into his ears.

"No, I didn't mean that! Yes, I know that," Jasper snarled. _"Gosh stop it!" _I wanted to shout, but kept my mouth shut. I didn't have to make it worse for Jazz.

"Goodbye Jessica Stanley," Jasper snapped his phone shut, and smiled apologizing to me.

"I'm sorry, she just misunderstood something. It was nothing," Jazz said trying to lie to me, but I knew him better than that.

"Stop lying, Jazz. We both know it's a lie," I said, shaking my head. This was destroying Jasper, but he wouldn't admit it.

"What's it to you?" he snapped. _"It's everything!"_ a little voice shouted, and I wanted to yelled it out loud, but it would only make things worse so I kept my mouth shot. I was losing my Jazz, and I didn't like it, _at all_!

_  
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night  
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like  
And she'll never know your story like I do_

It's Tuesday night. Jasper is out with Jessica on some kind of reunion date. I didn't care, because it wasn't my Jazz. My Jazz would never do that! But Jessica had almost brainwashed my Jasper, but I knew, he was in there somewhere; I just had to look for him. I put my Muse album on, turned up the volume, and went to take a shower. I needed to relax, and I had found out that this was a good way to do it. I took a long shower, and it finally made me relax. I turned the water off, and wrapped a towel around myself. I walked into my room and went on into my closet, where I dropped my towel on a rack. I heard Jazz came home, but I didn't think anything about it. I thought he went to his room. We hadn't spoken to each other since he snapped at me. We were air to each other. There was some silence and then I heard someone in my room, plopping down on my bed. I quickly grabbed my towel from the rack, and held it in front of me. The Muse album had reached my favorite number; Supermassive Black Hole. I peeked out of my closet and saw Jazz on my bed with closed eyes. It was his favorite song too. Jessica didn't like them.

"I hate rap! I don't even understand why someone would like to listen to that kind of music! How can something, where they are talking to the music be good?" he groaned. This was _my _Jazz. The Jazz I knew and was so in love with, the Jazz who didn't like girls like Jessica.

"Umm… Hi Jazz," I said a little nervous. He could feel it, so he opened his eyes and looked over at me. I got a little flicker of a vision, where Jazz and I were in bed together, a happy couple, having sex.

"_Jazz!"_ I said and hid behind the closet door. I'd like the vision, but I couldn't tell him that! I had to talk to Edward and Bella, mostly Bella.

"Sorry," he said and snapped out of it.

"Um…" Jazz was embarrassed.

"I'll take some clothes on in the closet. Make yourself home," I said backing back into the closet.

"Alice!" Jazz said, just before I closed the door.

"Yeah?" I asked and peeked out of the closet.

"I'm sorry," I knew what he meant.

"It's okay Jazz," I said, smiling, a sad smile, as I closed the door. Jasper didn't see it, or at least I hoped he didn't.

_  
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts  
she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers  
dreaming about the day when you'll wake up and find  
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time_

It was Monday, and I stood in my closet wondering what to wear. Today Edward and Bella would be home, and I missed them. And then I still had to talk with them. I looked at some jeans, but ended up with an oversize t-shirt with some leggings under, and some sneakers. My make-up was very simple. Some black mascara and then some brown in the ends. It would make it look more real. That was pretty much it. I tried to think of a way to get around Jessica with as little contact as possible, but as much contact with Jasper as possible. And then I remembered that her class was out of town today.

"Oh great!" I groaned, and hit my head in my hands. Grumpy Jasper all day! _Not fun!_

"What's wrong Alice?" Jasper's concerned voice was slower than his arms.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" I assured him. He raised one of his perfect eyebrows. If my heart had been beating, it would act like Bella's, poor Bella.

"Alice, don't make me go downstairs to get Edward to tell me what's wrong," his voice troubled with my sudden urge to keep quiet with my feelings. He didn't like it.

"_Please don't tell him Edward," _I pleaded in my thoughts.

"_I won't! But you have to explain later. To Bella and me!"_ he answered in a vision.

"_Thanks! I'll tell you on the way to school,"_ I told him, knowing he would remind me.

"_I'll remind you," _he answered – again in a vision.

"Alice, are you sure you're okay?" Jasper asked. He looked like he really cared for me – more than in a brother/sister way. I liked that too. I hoped Jessica would make something stupid, so Jasper would break up with her. So he could see that all he needed and all he wanted were right beside him. Me!

_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you  
been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me  
you belong with me  
_

It was Tuesday, and this morning Jazz and Jessica again had another fight. Jasper was really depressed, and I couldn't let him be alone. He needed someone to talk to, and listen, without judging him. I fit perfectly in that role, so when I was about to choose what to wear, Jazz came into my room.

"Hi Jazz," I said, trying to find a way I could make him feel better.

"Hi," he said in a hoarse voice, like he had been crying – only he couldn't cry. He sat down on my bed, starting to sob – tearless very broken sobs.

"Jazz, oh my God. Are you okay?" I asked, dropping my jeans on the floor, and ran over to him. He shook his head.

"I'm going to tell Esme, we won't be going to school. Don't go," I said as I rushed down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Alice you have to change!" Esme sighed as she saw me.

"_What?"_ Edward hissed trough his teeth. I just nodded, knowing he had read in my thoughts about Jazz and why I hadn't changed.

"Is it that bad?" he asked. I just nodded again.

"Can we have a spoken conversation here?" Emmet asked.

"Jasper is broken! He has moved into Alice room," Edward told the others.

"I told you _not _to move, Jasper. That means you have to sit still," I hissed. He didn't move again, for a while.

"What happened?" Esme and Carlisle asked at the same time, looking very concerned at the stairs were a broken Jasper came into sight. He just stared out in the blue, walking past them.

"Esme, is it okay, if Jasper and I skip school today?" I asked.

"Of course! Go save my son," she said, pushing me out of the door. I ran over to Jasper. She knew no one could understand him better than me. I had always been there, and I would always be there. He belonged to me, and I hoped he one day could understand that!

_  
Walkin' the streets with you in your worn out jeans  
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be  
Laughing on the park bench thinkin' to myself  
Hey isn't this easy?_

Later that day Jasper and I walked down the street heading nowhere. He had an old pair of worn out jeans. He was talking, and I was listening. Jessica had told him, she had cheated on him, with Mike. Jasper had asked why, and she had screamed at him, that she had need he wouldn't fulfill. He had answered that he had some things he just didn't compromise with.

"…And now I don't know if I should break that promise we made once. I'm so confused, and my brain is thinking; Why?!?! How could she do that to me? What did I do wrong?" Jazz said, lowering his head. I pulled him into my secret meadow. I'd showed it to Edward once, but that was in my head. I sat down on the damp grass. I thought about what I would say.

"Jasper, you couldn't have done anything different. It wasn't you who cheated on her. She cheated on you," I said weighing every word before I said it. He didn't answer any of it, and there was a comfortable silence.

"What about our promise?" he asked finally.

"It's up to you. I can't make that decision for you," I said, moving behind him. I hugged him tight, and we lay down in the damp grass. _"Hey that was easy,"_ I thought to myself. It was how we were supposed to be, without evil Jessica, who cheated on _my_ Jasper. Without her, Jazz would be all mine.

_  
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town  
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down  
You say you find I know you better than that  
Hey, What'cha doing with a girl like that?_

Later, when it was twilight, Jazz and I decided to home. I had finally been able to make him smile my favorite smile. It took my breath away and knocked me of my feet. Seriously that boy could light the whole town up with that smile, but I hadn't seen the smile for a while, and it was nice to see it again. It means he is my Jazz. My first and last love and I couldn't do anything about it. On the way home a saw a vision of Jasper in a tux. He was going to be married to some lucky girl. That was just not fair. He was humming.

"You know what, Alice?" he asked while we walked, and with that he broke the silence.

"No, what Jasper?" I answered with a question.

"I think I have changed," he said, trying to read my emotions.

"I _know_ you have changed," I said, and a sad smile played on the edges on the lips. He didn't see that, luckily.

"Better or worse?" he asked curious.

"What do you mean Jazz," I asked confused.

"Have I changed to the better or the worse?" Jasper asked, "Please, be honest."

"That depends…" I let the sentence trail of, letting him getting things he wanted out of the sentence.

"On what?" he demanded.

"I won't say it, because then you're going to hate me, and I don't want that," I answered.

"Please?" he asked letting his finger trace my cheekbones. That was weird! He had never done that before! I sighed.

"Okay then," I answered, "When you're with Jessica," I grimaced as I said the name, "you are not you."

"Don't get me wrong!" I added when I saw a hint of the anger I feared.

"You are still you, but you are just so evil to me. Sometimes I'm really considering if you hate me. But when we're alone you're the same old Jazz" I explained. I peeked over to look at his face. There was hurt written all over it.

"I shouldn't have said anything," I said and we both laughed into a dead sprint.

_  
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers  
she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers  
dreaming 'bout the day when you'll wake up and find  
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time_

When I came home I could hear high heels on wooden floor.

"Oh, great! Jessica's here," I groaned and walked up the stairs and went into my room plopping down on my bed with my pillows over my head. Jasper went into the living room. I knew what would happen now. Jasper would walk over to her and kiss her hello, and then they would be glued together for the rest of the time she was here. Forgot was the cheating, and he would never mention it again. Life would go on, like it had never happened. It was hard for me to realize, and it broke my heart. A high tune ripped me out of my thoughts.

"_What?!?!?!"_ Jessica shrieked and went even two octaves higher.

"It's over Jessica. I've been thinking about it, and I think it's for the best," Jasper said, and I could hear the front door slammed against the wall, only to be closed with the same use of force. Mike had left.

"You're going to be sorry, Jasper Whitlock Hale!" Jessica threatened. Okay, now she'd just gone _too_ far. One thing was threatening me and irritating me to death, but threatening my dearest thing in my existence, well then she crossed the line. I jumped up from my bed and grabbed my baseball bat and a crowbar on the way out of my room. I had used the crowbar when I had made my closet bigger. I came red glowering of anger to the staircase and stalked down it. I went directly over to Jessica.

"You can be threatening me! You can be irritating me to hell and _all_ the way back! You can kick my ass, and beat me up any day. But do you as much as even pretend considering, considering to be threatening my family, irritate my family the slightest bit, or beat them up, then I'm going show you, what I can do with a crowbar, a baseball bat and a pair of stilettos on my feet," I spit at her. She laughed humiliated at me.

"Well, well, well, is little miss Cullen threatening me?" she asked. I glowered at her, and she got a scared look in her eyes. I could smell the adrenalin.

"No. I'm promising you this. And believe me, no matter what you do, you _can't_ hide for me!" I said ice-cold. My family had never seen me like this. Carlisle stood frozen with a mask of shock written all over his face. Jasper's face was a concentrating mask. Edward's was was a grinning mask. The rest was horror.

"Leave!" I ordered Jessica, and I turned around and stalked out of the room.

_  
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you  
been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me_

standin' by, waiting at your back door  
all this time how could you not know that?  
You belong with me  
you belong with me

Jasper followed me as I threw the crowbar and the baseball bat on the ground and he kept following me. In the end I wasn't angry anymore. Now I was the old hyper-Alice everybody knew and loved. I sat down on a stone bouncing up and down. Jasper came over to me and sat down beside me.

"Why would you do that for me?" he asked confused, still trying to read my feelings, but he hadn't words for the feeling I had for him.

"Because you belong to me!" I simply answered, and pushed him down the stone playfully. The look on his face was a million dollars worth, and I laughed and laughed.

_  
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night  
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry  
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams  
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me._

A couple of days later, in the middle of the night, I was reading in a magazine, when Jazz peeked through the door.

"What's up Jazz?" I asked closing the magazine.

"You have time for a chat like the old day?" he asked.

"Sure. Come on in," I encouraged and padded on my bed. He came over to sit on my bed. Again he caressed my cheekbone, but this time he followed it all the way down to my collarbone. What was with him?

_Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?  
Been here all along so why can't you see?  
You belong with me_

Standing by or waiting at your back door  
All this time how could you not know that  
You belong with me  
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe  
You belong with me  
You belong with me

Two months later I came home from a friend's house, and found a letter for me. It was from Jasper.

"To my Alice, from Jazz," The envelope said. I opened and began to read.

_Dearest Alice_

_I know this will come as a shock for you. Maybe even a bigger one that for the rest of our family, but I decided to leave. I need to gain control over my life again. I decided to leave in a flip of a coin, so that's probably why you didn't see it._

_Don't blame yourself, because it wasn't even your fault. I'll promise to remember you._

_If you can't find your pale pink oversize t-shirt then it's because I took it. It smelled of you, and I like that._

_A stranger you were once.  
Then, with a gentle look you took my hand.  
As our lives engaged,  
you lit my life and I held both your hands.  
Now that decades have passed,  
ours souls have indeed become one.  
How fortunate we are  
that we have found the love so true  
that everyone dreams about._

_Remember that I belong to you, but that your heart belongs to me._

_I love you_

_Jasper_

I broke down on the floor - my life was gone...


	2. My Immortal

**Meant To Be**

**Chapter 002 – My Immortal**

Hi, my name is Alice Cullen. I have this really big problem with my adopted brother, Jasper, or Jazz as I call him. We are the best of friends, but I will try to let you know my problem:

_I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears.  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave.  
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone_

It had been almost a month since Jasper left me. Well the all of us, but they understood. So did I, I just couldn't find the reason. I had searched through every conversation we had. Everything he had done. Everything we had done together and I could still not find the reason.

"Alice!" Bella snapped her fingers in front of my face. I snapped out of my thoughts, "we have to go hunting now!"

"Yeah coming," I said and walked after her.

"Jasper?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah. There have to be something I miss," I explained, "He would tell me why he would leave. I just have to find the clue." I sighed. I wondered where he was now. I froze in the middle of a step. The other flew by me, stopped and ran back. Why hadn't I thought of that?

"I know where he is!" I gasped.

"Where?" Esme whimpered. She missed Jasper as much as me, almost as much as me. I stared out in the blue, seeing another vision. It was of Jasper. He was lying in a bed staring up at the ceiling, not really seeing anything.

"Say something Alice! I'm going insane over here," Emmet said in a pleading voice.

"He's in Alaska. At our hotel, in our room. The exact same room as our first holyday, with you," I whispered.

"What is he doing there?" Carlisle asked confused.

"Gaining the control of his life, I think," I answered silently. Would he ever come back?

_These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real.  
There's just too much that time cannot erase._

Every night I spend in Jasper's room. The wounds on my soul wouldn't heal, and the pain was the worst pain ever. Even worse than the raging fire rising through my body when I became a vampire.

"Think Alice! Think!" I commanded, and rubbed my temples. I focused on the small things now, but I still couldn't find anything. I had gone through anything. I sighed deep.

"Is it okay I come in?" Bella asked.

"Yeah," I said and stared out into the blue, going through everything once again. A broken sob broke through my thinking façade to the camera.

"_What is she doing?"_ I asked Edward.

"_Who?" _he asked confused.

"_Bella! Why is she filming me?"_ I asked. What was she doing?

"_Oh. I don't know,"_ he shrugged.

"_Damn it! I can't find what I'm missing!"_ I complained. Edward walked through the door.

"Let me help you," he said, and sat down beside me. We went through it all over again – we sat staring out in the blue, our faces sad. Bella got it all on tape. After a few hours Edward and Bella left me alone, but Bella's camera went on filming. I didn't care. I broke down on Jasper's bed, recalling every time he touched me. It only hurt more. Why wouldn't these wounds seem heal? Why was this pain just too real? Why where there so much time couldn't erase?

_  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

I had helped him through the most things, and been there to hold him tight when he was sad.

"Why did you leave me?" I asked him, even though he couldn't hear me. I took a pillow, and screamed into it. It was excruciating to know he wouldn't come back. I felt to arms hugging me tight. Esme had heard me, screaming.

"Sssh… it's going to be okay," Esme promised me, but I didn't believe her. I had been there for him, but he wasn't here for me now!

"What did I do wrong?" I muttered to myself, "I must have done something wrong!" I sat there with Esme hugging me tight, trying to get a hold on myself, but I couldn't. It was like I was dead. Like he had taken my heart and life with him, when he went away.

"Please come back, Jasper," I whispered into the blue. I wanted him back. I wanted him to hold me tight and tell me everything would be okay.

"Oh Jasper…" I cried out loud, and it felt like my heart was breaking even more, if that was even possible.

"Oh Jasper I love you too. I do. I really, really do. You have all of me," I sobbed very high, "why can't you see that?"

_  
You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
_

It was now two month since Jasper left me, and I was a wreck. Even though it seemed impossible, time _did_ passed by, very slowly – too slowly. When I wasn't in school, or eating I was in Jasper's room, sobbing loudly. Bella was still filming me. It didn't bother me anymore. She could do whatever she wanted. At first I wanted to go after him, when I found out where he was, but then I thought about it again, and if he wanted to get away from things down here, then I wouldn't force him to be with one of them.

My light was gone, and now I only lived at the places he once had lived in. He was in my every thought, in my every dream. It was so hard to be in places he had been, but I wouldn't leave. Not for a million dollars. I played and replayed his voice over and over again. It was like I was going insane. It was like al sanity was chased away by the memory of his voice, his face and even his smell.

"Alice, do you want to go shopping with me?" Rose asked. I thought about it for a second. What could it harm?

"Sure. What about Bella. Does she want to go?" I asked, and looked around the living room.

"Where is she?" Esme asked.

"Billy and Seth came," Edward answered and sighed. He missed her already.

"What would they?" Em asked.

"Jacob ran off. Billy wanted him back," Edward sighed again

"Why did he run of?" Carlisle asked confused.

"He missed Nessie too much. You know she is with the Denali's. So he phased and ran up to them so he could see her, but he has to be here when she comes back. He has promised her he would be here, when she comes back," Edward said. He didn't sigh this time, but his eyes were dead.

"Um… Edward you didn't answer Em's question," Rose pointed out.

"They came here because they wanted her to help. You know Jacob has a soft place for Bella, and if she explains it to him, Seth thinks it would make him understand. She is on her way now," Edward answered.

_These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real.  
There's just too much that time cannot erase._

Rose and I did go shopping, and because I wanted it to be as normal as possible I did buy some now clothes to Jasper. It was hard, but I could handle it. Right now I thought it was better before, when he was with Jessica. No, I _knew_ it was better because he didn't leave back then.

"What do you think?" Rose asked as she stepped out of the fitting room.

"It's beautiful," I answered and smiled a little. I don't think she saw it.

"You think so?" she asked and turned around to see from every angle.

"Yeah. I think you should buy the dress," I answered. She disappeared into the fitting room again. My wounds wouldn't heal, and the pain? Well that was only too real. Why couldn't time erase that? Why wouldn't it disappear? I balled up, hugging my knees, like I was trying to keep myself together, which was exactly what I was trying to do. I rested my forehead at my knees, and Rose found me like this.

"Oh Alice," she sighed, "come on let us get you home." She helped me up, and we paid for the clothes and walked towards the car. On the way out her phone rang. She picked it up, and the one she talked to muttered something.

"Okay," was her only answer and she snapped her phone shut. I was beginning to see a vision, but pushed it away. Edward could look for danger these days. I couldn't concentrate.

"Home," Rose said, as we walked through our front door. I went directly upstairs and walked into my room. I dumped my bags on the bed, and walked into Jasper's room. I dumped his on his bed too. I was so depressed. I walked over to the door, closed it and slit down until I was sitting on the floor. I could hear Edward walk upstairs and he stopped in front of Jasper's door.

"Bella have a present to you, when she comes home," Edward said and sat down on the other side of the door.

"_Tell her thanks,"_ I told him in my thoughts.

"I will," he answered. Silent filled the air through us.

"_Edward, are you still there?"_ I asked.

"Yeah I'm here," he answered.

"_Will this pain ever disappear?"_ I asked him. There was some silence before he answered. I guess he thought about it.

"No," he finally answered, "the wounds will never heal, the pain would always be too real and the time can never erase it.

_  
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
And I held your hand through all of these years.  
But you still have all of me._

I remembered when he found out Jessica had cheated on him. The pain he had felt, was it this excruciating?

"No. it was hard for him, yes. But he didn't feel such great pain," Edward answered my thought. He is just like this when Bella leaves without him. Before I had told him he overreacted. Now I knew better. I would never criticize him again.

"Thanks," he muttered to me thought, and I could hear a smile where on his lips. We were so much alike right now. We were both wreck right now. We both hated it, but we couldn't help it. We were wreck 1 and wreck 2. That was what we were.

"I guess you can call us that," He answered my thought.

"_Is it like this for you every time Bella leaves without you?"_ I asked.

"Yes. It's hard and it hurts, because I'm afraid she won't come back, even though I know she can't live without me. When she promise me to come back, and removes her shield from her head, it's a little easier, because then I can see in her head and know what she is thinking," he answered.

"_Do you think I will ever forget my feelings for him?"_ I asked. It was nice to be honest with at least one. Edward knew about my feelings for Jasper.

"I _know_ you won't Alice," he answered, "I know you have always been there when he needed one to confess in, and I know you have fought all his fears away for him. I know you have held his hand when he needed and that you want to forget him, but you can't. We vampire can hardly change, but when we do then it last forever. Look at Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Em or Bella and me; we are still in love with each other. It will never change."

"_So he still loves Jessica?"_ I asked him sadly.

"No, he has never loved her. He has told himself he did. But if he had loved her, he would have broken your promise, but he didn't," he answered.

"_Will I ever…?"_ I let the sentence trail of. I hadn't word for my feelings.

"No you will never ever learn to live without him," he answered.

_  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along.  
_

I had told myself a billion times that he didn't come back – that he was gone, and I had tried a million billion times to understand it, but I even though I had so much space to wrap I couldn't wrap my head around it. I couldn't understand it.

"I know how it is," Edward comforted me.

"_Do you think I ever will understand it?"_ I asked.

"I don't know, but I don't think so," he told me. I missed the time where we were together when the others had quality time.

"I miss that some too," he answered. I smiled sadly.

"_Even now when you have Bella?"_ I asked.

"Yes, even now. Bella needs some alone time too, you know. She has always been very independent. I use to call her miss independent," he said. I had always been alone, because Edward hadn't always time to me, so when Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Em had some alone-time, and Jasper had been at Jessica's or Jessica was here I was in my room. Jessica didn't like me, so when they were together I was lying in my room alone, trying to imagine Jasper was lying beside me, but I had always been alone – alone all along.

"I'm sorry I didn't have time sometimes," Edward answered with guilt in his voice.

"_It's okay. You also have a life,"_ I answered. Silence filled the air again. It was like the others tried to get something out of our conversation, but I doubted they did.

"_If Bella left you for Jacob or just left you, would you try to understand it?"_ I asked.

"No, I would never try to understand it, because that would make her the bad guy, and I would not bear to think of Bella like that," Edward answered

"_If you left, and Bella came up to you and begged you to come home, would you?"_ I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

"Alice, I would kidnap Bella, and take her with me," he answered.

"_Why didn't Jasper do that?"_ I asked irritated. Jasper had something to learn from Edward.

"Because he didn't know where you were. Jasper wrote a note to me, where he explained," Edward answered again. My irritation over Jasper disappeared like dark, when you turn the light on.

"_Do you have it right now?" _I asked. I _needed_ that piece of paper. He had touched it and I needed to smell him once more.

"Yeah, here," he slit the note under the door. I picked it up and inhaled Jasper's scent. After that a broken sob broke through my throat. I began to read the note. It said:

_Dear Edward._

_I know this will break Alice, and I love her. Trust me I do! But I have to leave. Please take care of her, and help her through. _

_I would have taken her with me, but I didn't know where she was and you weren't there to ask. Don't blame yourself, dear brother_

_I don't know if I will come back, but keep listening for my thoughts._

_Jasper_

"_Will you tell me when you can hear them?"_ I asked.

"Of course. You'll be the second to know," he answered

"_Second?"_ I asked hurt. I saw another vision, but I pushed that away too.

"Yeah. I'll be the first," he answered.

"_I'm dying!"_ I sighed.

"NO!" he yelled angrily.

"_Sorry,"_ I answered very low.

"You're not forgiven. Yet!" he spit back. I didn't answer that.

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.  
And I held your hand through all of these years.  
But you still have all of me, me, me._

After some silence I heard two pair of footsteps. One was Bella's and the other sounded like Jasper's. I closed my eyes, and pretended it was him – ah the gift of wishful thinking. I dreamed it was him, being so in love with me that he had to come back – Bella had shown him the tapes, and he realized he needed me, and I needed him, so he just had to come back.

"_Bella is home,"_ I thought to Edward.

"Yeah I can hear her. You want to go downstairs?" he asked.

"_Thanks, but no thanks. Just send my present up, or just put it at the table in the dining room. Don't forget to tell her thanks from me,"_ I answered.

"I will," he answered and went downstairs. He kissed Bella

"_I should ask you to send her present up. She has locked herself in, in Jasper's room. She won't come out until he's home,"_ I heard Edward tell someone. I could hear the vampire, who sounded like Jasper, on the stairs. He walked over to Jasper door and knocked.

"No," I answered in a groan. The vampire walked into my room, found a piece of paper and wrote something down. Then he walked back to Jasper's door and slit it under. I took the paper and inhaled the scent of it. It smelled like Jasper too. I turned the paper and started to read it. It said:

_Dear Alice_

_When you cry, I'll wipe away all of your tears.  
When you scream, I'll fight away all of you fear.  
And I'll hold your hand through all years.  
And you'll have all of me._

_Jasper _

I jumped up and yanked the door open – yanked it out of it hinges, and there he was, the love of my life…


	3. Told You So

Hi. My name is Jasper Hale. Alice has told you our story so far, but I'm going to tell you how I was when I went away from the Cullen's, but most of all how I was with being away from my Alice. Let me start the story:

I was lying in my bed, like I had been doing the last two months. The only time I left the room was when I had to feed. As I was lying there, I thought back on the time, when we were here on vacation.

_She_ had laid in this bet in _this_ room. I had watched her in the nights. Back then I had thought it was normal for a brother to feel that way, but now I knew better. I had loved her from the start. I turned around and recalled her face. It was so lovely and sweet and caring. I smiled and pulled her pale pink oversize t-shirt out of my suitcase. I inhaled her scent and sighed. Maybe I should go back home. Go home and beg Alice to forgive me. I thought back on the day I realized I loved Alice.

_*Flashback*_

_I walked into Edward's room, and wanted to talk with about Alice. I and saw him ready to take off, again. Where was he going every night? He looked up at me and smiled._

"_Hey Jasper," he said as I stepped into his room._

"_Are you going out again?" I asked a little surprised. Bella didn't get much sleep, I thought._

"_Yeah. I love to watch Bella sleep," he answered._

"_Can I talk to you before you go?" I asked. He looked at the clock._

"_Sure. Bella don't go to sleep before half an hour. Come on and sit down," he said and sat down on his bed. I sat down on the floor._

"_So what do you want to talk about? I would like to have a real conversation, so speak please," he asked. I sighed deep. This would be so much harder than I thought._

"_I know you're in love with Bella, and that you can watch her to forever. But what if I feel the same way about Alice?" I asked confused._

"_Then you love her," Edward stated simply and smiled. I could feel his happiness._

"_But she's my sister for crying out loud," I exclaimed._

"_Jasper, look at Em and Rose. They are just as much brother and sister as you and Alice. When Bella joins this family, she will be my sister too, and my girlfriend. There's nothing you can do about it. You love and that's the end. Your every thought caresses her name like it was the finest china. Jasper, we vampires can hardly change, but when we do it last forever. You will love her forever, and that's the end!" Edward said and looked at me. But she's my sister! I thought._

"_No!" was Edwards only answer. He looked at the clock._

"_I'm leaving," I sang and walked out of his room._

_*End of flashback*_

A knock on my door ripped me out of my thoughts. It wasn't the usual the-maid knock. It was more silent, a vampire-knock, but I could hear a heartbeat. Weird! I jumped up from the bed and walked to the door, and opened it. Bella and Jacob stood on the other side. I could feel Bella was pretty upset, and Jacob with her. What were they doing here?

"Can we come in?" Bella asked. I nodded and opened the door more widely. They walked into the room and I closed the door behind them.

"Make yourself home," I said and walked to the bed where I sat down. Jacob quickly found a chair and I grinned at him. He grinned back. Bella took the floor. She sighed and duck through her big purse. I guess she missed Edward.

"How is Edward?" I asked her. She pulled out a DVD.

"He misses you, like the rest of us do," Bella answered. Jacob cleared her throat, as Bella tried to put the DVD back in her purse. She sighed and turned to me again.

"Jasper I would like to show you a movie of Alice, after you left. Can I use you television?" she asked. I nodded. What was wrong with Alice? Bella put the DVD on, and we started to watch it. It was all about Alice. She was sad, and lived the most of her life in my room. She sobbed a lot and was always sad. What had happened to her?

"What happened?" I asked when the "movie" was done.

"You left," Jacob answered before Bella could. _What?!?!_ I had done this to her?!?!

"But… but… but…" I was speechless.

"Jasper we need you to come home. We need to have you with us. I'm not sure Alice can make it so much longer. Alice need to be saved before she becomes a suicidal vampire, and you are the _only_ one who can save her," Bella said.

"But…" I couldn't say anything else.

"_For God sake Jasper Alice is dying back home! Do something! I don't want to lose my sister, okay!?!?"_ Bella screamed. Jacob just sat there staring at her, butI jumped up and started to pack my clothes. I don't think I ever have done that so quickly.

_Suppose I called you up tonight and told you that I loved you.  
And suppose I said "I wanna come back home".  
And suppose I cried and said "I think I finally learned my lesson"  
And I'm tired a-spendin' all my time alone.  
_

On the way home in the car I pulled my cell out of my pocket in billion times, dialed Alice's number and then deleted it all and stuffed the cell down in my pocket. I wanted to call her, and let her know that I had seen Bella's DVD and realized that I needed her, that she needed me, and that we couldn't live without each other. I would tell her I learned my lesson and I was tired of spending my day alone. I would beg her to forgive. I would do everything for her. I sighed deep.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked. Why did this have to be the day where he paid attention to everything?

"I'm trying to decide whether to call Alice or not. Tell her that I love her. Tell her I want to come back home. Cry and tell her I finally learned my lesson, and I'm tired of spending all my time alone," I answered, looking out of the window. Bella had finally learned that speed is fun.

"Oh… then do it," was his answer.

"I don't know," I answered and sighed. Why did this have to be so hard, and what about Jessica?

"What about Jessica?" Jacob read my thought.

"I don't know," I answered.

"I do," Bella said.

"Then spill, girl," Jacob answered and grinned. She grinned slightly back.

"She is running around home, telling you cheated on her with Alice, and that Mike was there for her to comfort her. Alice might not notice it, but Rose does and it going on her nerves. Em has a fulltime job, to make sure she not explodes and kill Jessica," Bella answered.

"How could I have been so blind? How could I have thought I loved that irritating thing?" I mumbled, without realizing it.

"I don't know," Bella answered my thought.

"How did you know what I was thinking?" I asked confused. Bella couldn't read minds.

"You mumbled it," Jacob answered.

"Oh…" I answered. I sat back in the seat, and thought back on Alice, my little hyper-active love. Even though Edward sometimes thought she was irritating, I loved that little irritating woman! How come I couldn't realize that before?

_If I told you that I realized you're all I ever wanted  
and it's killin' me to be so far away.  
Would you tell me that you loved me too and would we cry together?  
Or would you simply laugh at me and say:  
_

"Maybe you should call and tell her what you feel?" Bella suggested.

"She already knows that," I told her. I wanted to tell her that I realized she was all I ever wanted, and that it was killing me to be away from her. Would she cry and tell me that she loved me too? I missed her; missed the time we had spent together before Jessica ruined it all, missed her way to comfort me, when I needed it, missed her smile, her face, her scent, her laugh, her voice. And I missed when she peek through my door, to see if I had time to chat. I missed her buying clothes to me, dropping them of on my bed. I was addicted to her.

"I know Edward loves me, but he keeps telling me it. You can never tell it too many times, because then maybe she forgets it or maybe you forget it, and then you have a problem," Bella pointed out.

"I tell Nessie I love her every time I write to her," Jacob said. I could feel his love for her, and I smiled a little.

"I can feel how much you love her," I said and he rolled his eyes.

"I forgot you could do that," he smiled, "but the point is that you have to tell her again and again." I sighed. I knew he was right.

_"I told you so, oh I told you so  
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in.  
I told you so, but you had to go  
now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again".  
_

The reason I didn't call her was that I was afraid. Afraid she would tell me; she would have told me so – told me, I someday would come crawling back, asking, no begging, her to take me in. Afraid she would say; she would have told me so, but that I had to go, and now she had found somebody new who didn't break her heart, and I would never break her heart in two again. I knew Bella had told me, Alice didn't have a new one, but they didn't know her feelings. Edward maybe knew her thought's, but what when they were home in their cottage. Maybe she thought of her new guy then. I couldn't bear the thought. I sighed deep, and listened to Bella's conversation with Rose.

"I have him with me. He's really down, just as down as Alice. We have just left Alaska. I push my Ferrari edge," she told her.

"_Okay,"_ Rose told her and Bella snapped her phone shut. She drove even faster, pushing her car even faster.

"I miss Nessie already," Jacob whimpered. Bella laughed.

"You just said goodbye to her, and you miss her already?" she smiled.

"I thought I just said that," Jacob said and shook his head.

"Bella?" I said.

"Yes Jasper?" she answered.

"Is it like this for you every time you leave Edward?" I asked.

"Like what sweetie?" she asked.

"Excruciating? Heart breaking? Unbearable?" I asked. I could have mentioned a million more words, but I wouldn't start to sob in front of them.

"Yes. It's hard every time. I don't think I ever get used to it. I'm always afraid of, he have left while I'm gone. Even though I know he hasn't and that he loves me, it's still hard. Every single time," she answered. She sighed deep.

"You miss him, don't you?" I said. It wasn't a real question; it was more like a statement

"Just as much as you miss Alice, and just as much as Jacob, my run away wolf, misses my daughter," she answered. She picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"Who are you calling," I asked, afraid it would be Alice.

"Sam," she answered, "even though I already have Jacob's I need both the Alpha's acceptance before I drive in on the reservation." As she answered she pressed the call button and waited impatiently.

_If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever.  
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand?  
Would we get that old time feelin', would we laugh and talk for hours  
the way we did when our love first began?  
_

We waited a couple of minutes before Sam picked up.

"_Sam here,"_ he said as he picked up.

"Hi Sam. It's Bella," she answered.

"_Ah_ _Mrs. Cullen. What a pleasure to speak with you again. How is your Edward? And your Nessie?_" he asked. He had finally forgiven her, and learned to live with the vampires. He had actually been friends with them for a while. In the beginning Rose wasn't very happy for it, but now she was happy about it. She and Leah had become great friends

"They are great. Listen Sam; I need your acceptance to drive in on the reservation, so I can drop of Jacob. I need you to tell the wolves, that I can't be attached, and neither can Jasper," she explained and he laughed.

"_Of course. Let me explain to the wolves. Wait a couple of minutes and then drive in. goodbye Mrs. Cullen, it was nice to speak to you,"_ Sam said.

"Goodbye Sam. Thanks for the help," she said and hung up. She speeded the car up impatiently. After ten minutes she speeded that car and raced down the road.

"Bella what happened to the slow driving Bella?" I asked and Jacob laughed.

"I killed her. She was simply driving _too_ slowly. Speed is fun," she answered and Jacob laughed even more.

"I like this Bella," Jacob said.

"And you didn't like the old one?" Bella asked, pretended to be hurt.

"Of course I did. I just like this one better," he answered. Bella stopped the car, and threw the car keys over to Jacob.

"Here, drive home yourself. I fetch the car later. I miss Edward too much, so I'm going to run home. And if I know Jasper he runs with me. Just leave Jasper's luggage in the car. See you Jacob, and please don't run of the next three weeks," she said, as we jumped out of the car.

"Why the next three weeks?" he asked, "Like I can run of the fourth?"

"If you want to run from Nessie fourth week, then yes you can. If you don't then no. She comes home in three weeks," Bella explained, and I could feel Jacob's happiness.

"Bella, I want to go home," I yanked in her arm, like a four-year old kid, dying to come home to his new toy. She laughed at me.

"Don't crash my car. I love it," she said and shut the car door. Jacob started the car and raced down the road. Bella looked into the woods and smiled at Poul, as he looked through the trees. He jogged over to us, and she gave him a hug.

"Tell Rachel hello," she said and the big wolf nodded. We jumped into a dead sprint. I had bare feet, I had left my shoes in the car, and Bella had stilettos on. How did girls run in such shoes?

_Would you tell me that you'd missed me too and that you'd been so lonely  
and you waited for the day that I return.  
And we'd live in love forever and that I'm your one and only  
or would you say the tables finally turned?  
_

My mind was totally empty, but I could see Bella lifted her shield away from her mind, and then told Edward how much she had missed him. I smiled because I could feel her love for him. She loved him just as much as I loved Alice. The minute I thought of Alice's name my mind ran through every minute we had spent together.

"Jasper, why did you leave, in the first place?" Bella asked and ripped me back to reality.

"I had all this anger in me, and every time I saw Jessica or Mike, I wanted to rip their heads off. Not because she had broken my heart, because she hadn't. No I wanted to kill them because they hated Alice," I answered. Bella nodded understanding.

"Do you still want to kill them?" she asked.

"Yes, but I won't do it. It would make the monster come out of it box, and we can't have that," I answered. I sighed deep.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked concerned. I knew she would understand better than anyone else. Well almost anyone else – not better than Edward.

"When we come home, and I tell Alice that I missed her do you think she tells me that she missed me too, and that she have been lonely and waited for the day I return? And then our love would be as strong us yours and Edward's? And we would live in love forever and always, and I would be her first and only love? Or would she say the tables finally turned?" I asked sadly. Bella laughed a little, and I knew she replayed it all in her head so Edward could hear it.

"I _think_," She answered and bit her lips," that she would tell you she missed you and all that. No I _know_ that." I just nodded. How much I wanted to believe her I just couldn't. My family stood in the hall ready to welcome me back – everybody but Alice. I scanned the room again and again trying to find her. Edward came flying down the stairs and Bella ran over to him and kissed him, while hugging him tight.

"_Where is Alice?"_ I asked Edward in my thoughts.

"I should ask you to send her present up. She has locked herself in, in Jasper's room. She won't come out until he's home," Edward said. It would sound like it was to Bella, but we all knew it was to me. I nodded and looked at the stairs, taking the first step up to Alice.

_Would you say:_

"I told you so, oh I told you so  
I told you some day you come crawling back and asking me to take you in.  
"I told you so, but you have to go  
now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again"? 

I walked up the stairs. I had never in my existence been so nervous. Did Alice hate me? Or was she just as broken as they said she was? Was she going to tell me to leave her alone? Would she even talk to me? Would she tell me; I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again! I walked over to my door and knocked.

"_No!"_ she groaned from the other side. I walked into her room, found some paper and wrote:

_Dear Alice_

_When you cry, I'll wipe away all of your tears.  
When you scream, I'll fight away all of you fear.  
And I'll hold your hand through all years.  
And you'll have all of me._

_Jasper _

I kissed the paper, leaving my scent on it, walked back to the door, kissed the paper again, and slit it under the door.

_"Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again"._

I was so afraid she just would yell to me she had found someone new, so I stood total still and waited. I could hear her jump and yank my door open. There she was, the love of my existence, and she was smiling…


	4. That's my goal

Hi. My name is Jasper Hale. I told you the last chapter of our story. Let me continue the story, and let you know what happened afterwards:

_Hmmmm yeah, yeah yeaaah_

There she was, smiling at me, like she was happy to see me, like I hadn't been away, only out on a walk. I smiled a little nervous smile. Was this Godlike woman meant for me? She stood with my door in her little hand.

"Ooops," she smiled. I laughed a little.

"Can I come in?" I asked, even though it was _my_ room. She laughed at me and stepped aside.

"Sure," she smiled and put the door back on its hinges. I walked inside and she closed the door behind me. I felt two arms around my waist.

"Welcome home Jasper," she whispered against my back. I had missed that.

_You know where I come from.  
You know my story.  
You know why I'm standing here.  
Tonight.  
Please don't go.  
Don't be in a hurry.  
I'm here to make it clear.  
Make it right.  
_

"Thanks," I answered and we walked over to my bed. We sat down and I looked into her eyes. How could I ever make it up to her again? I felt her love to me running through my whole body. It was so sweet and so hot it was almost unbelievable. I sighed deeply. It _was_ unbelievable!

"Jasper just tell me. I know your story and I know why you're sitting here now," she said. I stood up, wanted to leave. It was so different from what I remembered. It was twice as strong. Twice as strong to understand and twice as hard to resist the urge to take her sweet angelic face between my hands and kiss her. Twice as hard not to turn around and rip her clothes of, but I had to be the southern gentleman.

"Jasper!" her voice so sad, and panicked. I turned around and in the 30th of a second she was clinging to my chest, her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I put my arms around her and she pressed herself closer to me.

"Don't leave," she whispered into the hollow of my throat.

"Never again," I promised, "If that makes it clear, makes it right then never!" She smiled against my throat. I walked back to the bed and sat down on it. Alice didn't let go of me.

"Jasper, Jessica…" she started, but I broke her off.

"I know. We're going to visit her later," I answered, "But right now I need to say sorry! I need to tell you how sorry I am! How much I…" she put her finger in front of my lips and broke of my train of words.

"Sssh… it's okay. I still love you. Don't worry," she whispered against my throat, but how could I not? How could I not worry? Worry why I deserved this lovely person? What had I done right?

"But how can I not?" I asked. She sighed deep and for the first time, since I was about to leave, she looked at me. Looking me in my eyes, caressing my cheekbones.

"Jasper, I love you, okay? Please grasp that! And there is nothing you can do about it! The end!" she said and again hid her face in the hollow of my throat. I caressed her back, drawing circles with my fingers.

"Alice just let me get this out okay?" I asked, hoping for her acceptance. She sighed, the air she let out ticked against my skin.

"Okay Jasper. If it makes you feel better, then yes," she answered.

_Well I know I've acted foolish  
But I promise you no more  
I've finally found that something  
Worth reaching for  
_

How could I explain? How could I make her understand? There were so many questions and so few answers. I kept caressing her back, and I could feel her happiness in my whole body. I had been so blind, to not see her love for me and my love for her. And now that I had realized it, how could I not believe her love was just as strong for me, when I could feel it? I knew how hard it had been for her, when I had left her. And how could I not have believed it until I had seen it myself?

"Jasper?" she whispered concerned. I had been deep in thought, so I hadn't told her anything.

"Yes Alice?" I asked, kissing her hair.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes I'm fine. I was just lost in thoughts," I answered and kept caressing her back. She nodded and we sat in silence a couple of minutes, until I had decided how to tell her.

"Alice I know, I have acted foolish. But I promise you, it will happen no more. I have done the unforgiving, and I know, I was cruel. But now…" I took an unnecessary breath, "but now I found something… something there is worth living for, and Alice? That's you." I could feel her clinging herself closer to my body. I felt electric currents running through my whole body – even the part of me that I wouldn't think of right now.

"No Jasper. Not unforgiving. Never unforgiving," she whispered and again her breath tickled my throat.

"Alice, I need you. I need your very presence to exist. I simply cannot exist without you. I know I was with Jessica and claimed I loved her. But Alice I didn't. I loved you from the very first moment I saw you, but I… I… I didn't know it. I couldn't realize it, I wouldn't realize it. Because you were my sister, and I couldn't love my sister, right? I couldn't love you, but now I know better. I know, I _can_ love you, and I _know_ I will love you. Love you from the day, that we met 'till the day this world will stop existing. Until that day I will love you with all of my heart, and even more. I'm a vampire, and we fairly change, but I changed, when I saw you. I wanted to be better. I would give you the world and even more, and I still will. I changed my life for you, and if you want me to change again, then I will do it. I will do it for you, and only you. If you ask for the stars, I will go to heaven and pick them to you. And if you want me to leave, I will do it - even though it will hurt, I will leave you and this family. If you don't love me anymore, then I will go away, out of your life, so you can be happy with another person, and if you want to cheat on him, then I will be the one you will do it with, if you want," I said and held her tight.

"Jasper…" she started, but I stopped her.

"Wait Alice there is more," I said.

_I'm not here to say I'm sorry  
I'm not here to lie to you  
I'm here to say I'm ready  
That I've finally thought it through  
I'm not here to let your love go  
I'm not giving up oh no  
I'm here to win your heart and soul  
That's my goal  
_

Would the next part come out right? Or would it sound like some bullshit? I didn't know, but I had to try; had to make her understand, had to make her see, why I needed to make my saying sorry such a big deal. But it was to me – it was a big deal to me. And somewhere inside I knew, she would understand. But I still had to try. And even if it ended badly, I would still do anything and everything to make her happy, even if it didn't include me – even if it was without me. If she wanted some space, then I would give her all the space, which she needed and even more, is she wanted. I would back of, if she wanted me to, and I would come closer, if she wanted me to do that.

"Then tell me Jasper, tell me what you want. Tell me anything you want," she sighed. I kept caressing her back, and she finally relaxed a little.

"Alice I'm here, home, to say I'm ready. Ready to love you and ready to love with you for the rest of my existence. I'm here to say, that I finally have thought it through, that I finally realized that I need you. I'm not here to let your love go, disappear, like it means nothing to me, because that's not true! It means everything. You are the center of my personal universe, and you always will be," I took another unnecessary breath to calm myself. It didn't work very well.

"Thanks Jasper," she whispered and snuggled even closer, if that was possible.

"Alice, I'm not giving up – not giving up on your heart and soul, because _I_ believe we all have a soul. And I _will_ keep fighting for yours. I will make sure no one touches you in a way you don't like. Alice, you _are_ my goal – my goal for returning, my goal for keep fighting and my goal for my dead heart," I said and she smiled. I could feel how much this meant for her.

"And Alice?" I said.

"Yes?" she answered.

"I will go shopping with you tomorrow," I said and she giggled. She started caressing my neck with her fingers. The touch was feather like, and I liked it. I liked it too much, and I took a deep breath to calm the unwanted part of me down. I succeeded.

"Alice, I'm not here to say I'm sorry, but…" she jumped up.

"_You're not sorry?!?! I mean nothing to you?"_ she shrieked and flew towards the door. I was faster than her and caught her, before she was out of the door.

_Please don't go  
You know that I need you  
I can't breathe without you  
Live without you  
Be without you  
Well I know I've acted foolish  
But I promise you no more  
No more  
_

"All that you said before meant nothing?" she asked with sad eyes and started to sob. I turned her around and held her close.

"No Alice you're wrong. I _am_ sorry. You_ mean_ everything to me and all that I said before - I meant every word of it, even the little _on_ and _in_ and all the other little words. Alice please don't go. I can't live without you, I can't be without you, and I cannot breathe without you. I need you, and you know that. Then tell me why shouldn't I care about you?" I asked, while I lifted her up and walked back to my bed with her in my arms. I pressed her closer, and she dug her nails into my shirt, and ended up ruining it. She looked at my shirt and then at me, and a sleepily smile played on her lips.

"Ooops," she said and looked down on the ruined shirt again. I sat a little back and removed my shirt, and Alice stared at my bare chest. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Alice, I acted foolish, and I will beg for forgiveness, if you want me to. I will promise you every day from now to tomorrow and all the way to the end of this world, that it will happen no more," I said not opening my eyes. She still stared at my bare chest, her breathing a little uneven. I could trace a little hint of lust in her feelings, and in some way I liked it.

"Can you remember the time when Jessica and you were a couple?" she asked not taking her eyes of my chest.

"Yes, only too well," I mumbled and started to caress her back again. She liked it and sighed happily.

"Well, when you and she were together, I used to lie in my room, pretending you were lying next to me. When you came home from your reunion date, or whatever you want to call it, when you walked in to my room, and I was naked, I liked your idea of us, but you were with Jessica, so I couldn't tell you," she breathed. I smiled a little, and she started tracing my lips with her finger. I kissed her finger, and she stopped. I opened my eyes to find her staring at her finger and then at me. She lit up in a beautiful smile, and I smiled back. It was weird, but I had never felt this way about anyone.

"You're happy," she said.

"Yes," I smiled, "Very happy." She smiled even more

_I'm not here to say I'm sorry  
I'm not here to lie to you  
I'm here to say I'm ready  
That I've finally thought it through  
I'm not here to let your love go  
I'm not giving up oh no  
I'm here to win your heart and soul  
That's my goal  
_

She knew, I wasn't home, because I needed to say sorry. She knew, I was, but she also knew, it was my feelings for her, that had brought me home. She knew, I didn't lie to her. She knew, I was ready to love her, and I had thought it all through. She knew, I would fight for her love, and if I died in the try, I would die happy. I was there to win her heart and soul, and I wasn't giving up. She knew, she was my goal, and that was really all that mattered.

We were still sitting on my bed. I had closed my eyes again, and she still stared at my bare chest, but I did understand her. She had never seen a naked, okay half naked boy before, even less a grown up man. I was just happy, it wasn't my pants she had ruined, because then we would have a minor problem. But you never knew with Alice, if she got to happy now, she _would_ probably, okay no probably, ruin my pants, and then we would our small problem.

"Jasper?" she asked and broke the silence.

"Mmmm?" I answered and tried to decide whether to open my eyes or not.

"Look at me?" she asked. I opened my eyes to find her smiling.

"Can I touch?" she asked and looked away a little shy.

"Touch what?" I asked gently forcing her to look at me.

"Your chest," she answered and bit her perfect bottom lip. I smiled to her.

"Sure," I answered and took her hand, only to place it on my bare chest, "Here you go." I closed my eyes again, and for a long time she didn't move her hand. Then she crawled a little closer and started to trace the pattern of my chest, touching my every muscle. We sat like this a long time, a couple of hours, I think, if not more. It was good, we had holyday, because otherwise I think, we had missed school. No one disturbed us, and I had to thank Edward for that some day. We could hear Bella running after her car and then coming back driving in it. I was glad my suitcases were home now. Her hand stopped again, and I could hear, she hesitated, so I smiled to her, even though I still had my eyes closed.

"Jasper, can I try something?" she whispered.

"What do you want to try?" I asked.

"Ummm… it's a surprise," she answered. I pretended to think about it for a moment.

"Why don't you tell me?" I answered. She was very still a couple of seconds.

"You will say yes," she smiled. I could hear the excitement in her voice, and I could also feel it running through her body.

"Then I guess, it is a yes," I smiled and waited to feel something new. I didn't feel anything for a second, but then I felt her climbing onto my lab. I didn't move, so I wouldn't frighten her.

"Is this too much?" she asked concerned. I shook my head.

"No. Its fine," I answered. She leaned against my bare chest, and sighed happily. She _was_ very happy, like it was something, which she had been dreaming about. Suddenly I could feel her hands tracing down my leg. I opened my eyes, and she got surprised, and ended up ruining my pants. _Not good!_ She stared down on my legs, and I followed her gaze. She had ruined them just below my private part of my body. She just stared at my legs and the ruined pants.

"Alice, can you move a second, so I can get rid of these?" I asked and pointed to my ruined pants. She nodded and climbed down my lab. I stood up walking to my closet, knowing there would be at least three pair of jeans in there. I stripped down to my boxers and found a pair of jeans. It was so strange to feel the love between Alice and me. It was strong, and it was nice. It had felt nice, when she had touched my chest or ripping my pants into shreds. I just wouldn't tell her that, because then I would have no pants left. She would rip them to pieces every single pair of them. I was about to take my jeans on, when someone ripped it out them out of my hands. I looked up a found Alice standing with them in her hands. She looked at me with big curious eyes.

_Well I won't stop believing.  
That we will be leaving together.  
So when I say I love you.  
I'll mean it forever and ever.  
Ever and ever_

She knew, I would never stop believing – believing we would leave this world together. And the day I would tell her; I love you, she would know, that I meant it forever and ever, and ever and ever. And she would believe me.

It was a little weird to have her standing right there when I hadn't anything but boxers on. I knew, she was the closest thing to a girlfriend for me right now, but still. I stood a little surprised and chocked over her reaction. She had sneaked up behind me, when I was lost in thoughts, and then snapped the jeans, and that surprised me.

"Ummm…. Can I have my jeans back?" I asked and reached out to take them from her hands. She shook her head and took a step backwards. Okay, that was weird!

"Okay? Why not?" I asked confused. Now I was even more chocked, surprised and confused. This had to be the weirdest thing, which I had ever tried.

"You have the most beautiful body, I have ever seen. Why cover it up with clothes?" she answered - asking a new question. She walked over and put the jeans back where it belonged.

"Because I don't know, when someone will walk into this room, and there is some part of me that _I_ can't control," I answered. If I could have blushed, I would. This was a little embarrassing.

"If that part want a look, then he's welcome," she answered and did something I wasn't prepared for. She stripped down too, to her underwear. I looked around my closet, embarrassed.

"Jasper?" she asked, but I kept looking around. I hoped Edward wouldn't listen to our thoughts right now, and if he did, then I hoped, that he would not think about it.

"Jazz?" she asked again, her voice like silk, and I had to look at her. She walked closer and closer, until she was standing only inches away from me. She placed her hands on my waist and pressed herself closer. I took a very deep breath and tried to calm myself down. No success. I placed my hands on her hips and lifted her up. She clanged to my body now. I pushed her closer to my body. She started to kiss my neck, and my breath became uneven. I made my way back into my room and over to my bed.

"Alice? Are you…?" I tried to ask, but she kissed me and my question became cut off. She pushed herself even closer, and I could feel her lust and love racing through her body.

"Jasper, do me a favor," she ordered with ragged breath.

"Yes?" I answered and let my hand slide down her body. Oh God it felt nice! The lust started to race around my body, mixed together with our love. It was so nice!

"Make the rest hungry! Now!" she ordered. I did as she told me to. I could hear Edward's steps on the stairs towards my door.

"_No! We are not hungry!"_ I told him in my mind.

"I'll tell the others that. Have fun," he answered.

"Shut up. And don't tell!" Alice told him.

"Only Bella," he answered.

"Okay. Now go!" I said and he walked downstairs again. A little later they left.

"Jasper, take me to bed," Alice whispered in my ear and the now wanted part became hard.

_I'm not here to say I'm sorry.  
I'm not here to say I'm sorry.  
I'm not here to lie to you.  
I'm here to say I'm ready.  
That I've finally thought it through.  
(Oh I'm ready)  
I'm not here to let your love go.  
I'm not giving up oh no.  
I'm here to win your heart and soul.  
(That's why I'm here babe)  
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul.  
That's my goal.  
That's my goal._


End file.
